Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the sticker price on that car is $147,900… :O ]]> http://technodaddy.com/2008/08/19/you-know-you-are-in-the-wrong-mall-when/feed/ http://technodaddy.com/2008/08/15/amusing-spam-subject/ http://technodaddy.com/2008/08/15/amusing-spam-subject/#comments Fri, 15 Aug 2008 16:21:42 +0000 Jim http://technodaddy.com/?p=754 I guess spammers are learning that I don’t want Viagra or a Rolex, and so they are adjusting tactics accordingly. Gmail is still smart enough to tag it as spam, but occasionally I still check my spam folder to see if anything important is in there. Today I saw this:

The spammer didn’t get me to click the link, but he did give me a moment’s amusement thinking of people getting flung to work!

Anyway, if you haven’t seen it yet, enjoy!

These things most of you know about me already.

Oh, and I hate HATE “para espanol, marque dos” automated prompts when I call places too, in the ever increasingly futile attempt to contact a human at customer service.

But I have a new annoyance, and I’m sharing in the hopes that if enough people start noticing how dumb it is, it will go away.

The annoyance, in a nutshell is the personalized voicemail greeting which is followed by automated-voice-lady instructions on HOW TO LEAVE A VOICEMAIL! Um, hello? Anyone who hasn’t encountered the “beep” and knows what to do after it doesn’t really need instruction, they need a time machine in which to ride back from 1975 to the present…

You know the message, it goes something like this… “Hi, this is Turd Ferguson. I can’t take your call right now but if you’ll leave me a message after the beep, I’ll get back to you” (now comes the automated lady) “To leave this person a message, you may begin speaking after the tone. To page this person, press 5, blah blah blah…. BEEP!”

It’s annoying enough that the person I wanted to talk to can’t come to the phone, and then that I have to listen to their (sometimes painfully witty) greeting, THEN I have to be told how to leave a message? I mean, why stop there? Why not tell me how to modulate my vocal chords and move my tongue such as to make speech? Why not inform me of my other options, such as hanging up the phone, whistling dixie, or poking myself in the eye with a sharp stick?

Bottom line, this wastes my time, and is redundant, and it wastes my time. (ha ha)

If this annoys you, too, please let me know after the beep…

I’m happy to report that it has. I quit smoking 13 days ago, and I’m pretty much certain I’m done with it for good this time.

Those of you who know me very well know I’ve been a closet smoker for years. Like most smokers, my habit would wax and wane depending on stress, or social situations, or health scares, or times of no money, you name it. I had a million reasons I would smoke, and a million reasons I would quit for months on end.

Many of you probably had no idea I smoked because I primarily did it at home, late at night, when the rest of the family had gone to bed, in my “quiet time” where I unwound. The social stigma of public smoking, and the relatively few places it’s OK to smoke in public meant I just smoked in solitude most of the time. Sure, I’d smoke when out drinking, or when hanging out with smoking friends or family, but at work, at meals, when out socially with non smokers, I just didn’t.

Before 13 days ago, I was smoking about 10-11 a day, primarily between 9pm and bedtime at 1-2am. But that was then — this is now.

Let me tell you the story of why I stopped, and how, and hopefully encourage you that you can do the same thing. Because you can. It’s ridiculously easy to quit via the method I used.

Since I broke my collarbone about a year ago, I have put on about 15 pounds, due to the simple math that I have reduced my activity levels (I was dancing most every day) and I have not reduced my caloric intake. Duh. That will put weight on you. As I’ve been wanting to get rid of those pounds, I’ve been paying close attention to what I eat, and when.

I noticed that late at night, after I came inside from a smoke, I usually grabbed something to eat, mostly to get that cigarette taste out of my mouth. Taking several smoke breaks at night, I’d have several “snacks” and pack in hundreds of calories late at night. Not healthy. Not good for the waist line either. Anyway, knowing that most people gain weight when they try to quit, I noted this epiphany about my late night snacking, but didn’t have pressing plans to quit, just to be “aware” of my little problem.

A few days later I was in Barnes & Noble browsing aimlessly, winding up in the self help section, and my eyes were drawn to Allen Carr’s “The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.” I thumbed through it for a few minutes and decided I had nothing but $20 to lose, so I bought the book.

Amazing. A-MAZE-ING. I could randomly rant about how smart this book is and how well this method works, and I have actually done so to some of my friends, but let me just boil it down to the basics for you.

At the very beginning of the book, heck, even on the jacket, he implores you to continue smoking as you normally would as you read the book. Whether you read it in a couple hours, days, or months, he insists that you smoke as you normally would while you are reading it. Anecdotally, he says some people take months to read it just because they secretly don’t want to quit. That may be true, but for me, I took his advice on the first night. Walked out into my garage and had a couple smokes while I read. Actually, I think I had three. Anyway, came inside, kept reading. I made it about half way thru the book that night, and went to bed.

The next day I read some more, but as I said earlier, I usually don’t smoke during the day anyway, so that wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t till the next night when my “smoking time” came that I realized that I didn’t want to smoke. And I haven’t since.

I have had just the mildest nicotine craving once or twice, but nothing to speak of. More than anything, when a craving came on, I said “huh, that’s the little monster he was talking about,” (you have to read the book to understand that) noted it as a sign of my progress, and moved on.

From Wikipedia:

Carr teaches that, contrary to their perception, smokers do not receive a boost from smoking a cigarette: smoking only relieves the withdrawal symptoms from the previous cigarette, which in turn creates more withdrawal symptoms once it is finished. In this way the drug addiction perpetuates itself. He asserted that the “relief” smokers feel on lighting a cigarette, the feeling of being “back to normal”, is the feeling experienced by non-smokers all the time. So that smokers, when they light a cigarette are really trying to achieve a state that non-smokers enjoy their whole lives. He further asserted that withdrawal symptoms are actually created by doubt and fear in the mind of the ex-smoker, and therefore that stopping smoking is not as traumatic as is commonly assumed, if that doubt and fear can be removed.

He gives many examples to back this theory, and shows the smoker how their thinking on cigarettes is fundamentally flawed, and damn if he isn’t dead on.

For example, ask any smoker, and they will tell you that smoking relieves stress, that it is their little “time away” stress reliever among other things. Consider this though: all smokers will also tell you about their “favorite cigarette” of the day. For some it is the first of the day, or on their break at work, or after a good meal, or after sex, or when having a drink with friends. Those are not STRESSFUL EVENTS! All those times with your “favorite cig” are indeed not stressful times at all. The cig has nothing to to with easing stress, it’s just easing the stress of your need for nicotine, and that temporary relief is already waning before you finish smoking… It’s just fallacy after fallacy that he tears down in the book.

I would never have thought after just reading a book I would have my mind (and body) so radically changed on the subject of smoking, which I thought I enjoyed (in private) for probably many of the last 20 years. But I am changed.

I am not suggesting this book is for everyone, or that everyone would find it as easy as I did to quit, but I am telling you, it would be damn near impossible to read this book and not change your outlook on smoking. Carr talks about the “hardened smokers” who say they don’t want to quit, they they enjoy smoking, damn the health implications. He makes the point that all smokers, when pressed, and being truthful, say they wish they had never started, and no smoker wants to see his kids smoke. Good and valid points. So why keep smoking? Out of fear that it will be too hard to quit. Well, it doesn’t have to be.

Anyway, so there’s my news. I don’t smoke any more, nor do I have any desire to. If you know anyone who’s even THINKING about quitting, or is receptive to the idea, give them this book. If they read it, they will quit. Tens of millions have, myself included.

I would be happy to loan any of you my copy of the book if you want to quit. Just holla.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and I would say wish me luck, but I really don’t feel like I need the luck. Just wish me health! That I’m looking forward to!